Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever will be coming to an ebook vendor or torrent site sometime in April. Here's the description: Social networks can be used for a number of things such as finding out what friends and family members are up to, trying to get girls to take their clothes off on camera, raising awareness, and organizing protests, revolutions, and relief efforts. But what if one man decided to use a social network for one of the most idiotic causes in human history? Join the hopeless and brain damaged Andy Boring in his quest to FILL THE GRAND CANYON AND LIVE FOREVER!!!!
So what we lacked in quantity last week we're making up this week by a bloogmillionth percent. And remember, you have ONE MORE WEEK to send me your awesome. Here are the guidelines. Feel free to follow or completely disregard them. ONE design will be on the ebook cover. ALL designs submitted will be somewhere in the interior of the ebook FORMATTING ALLOWING. That means when the final ebook comes out and it's missing your design, it probably isn't because I hate you, but because I just couldn't figure out how to put it there. Onward...
First is Bradley Sands. I have no idea who this guy is but the talent evident in his cover stings my eyes with its brilliance. The file name was "iwin", the subject of the email was "Contest is over!" and Bradley says, "made with puppy power." I like the part where my quoted nickname(?) is the same as my last name. Talent.
Next is Matthew Revert, author of A Million Versions of Right and The Tumours Made Me Interesting. Revert says he sent this to me "Because William Pauley III really likes you."
Next is Kevin Shamel, author of Island of the Super People and Rotten Little Animals. This was Kevin's third attempt and his tenacity is greatly appreciated. When not writing or designing covers, he's attempting to patent the "double mohawk", a truly awe-inspiring theoretical hairstyle. Kevin says he "stayed up real late last night making it, and it whacked out his whole day..."
Then there was Michael Allen Rose, author of Party Wolves in My Skull. I read this book at the same time I was reading We Need to Talk About Kevin and came to the conclusion that Kevin wasn't a sociopath, he just had party wolves in his skull. Michael says, "Here is an excellent cover for your book. I know you'll use it, because it is excellent, and if we do not strive for excellence, then we fail as excellence-seekers. This is the best cover ever, because it is the best, and therefore, better than all other covers, even if they're better. It's exciting excitement will excite your readers and make them buy your books and rub them all over their bodies, which is always awesome."
Mike Kleine enters the arena with TWO covers, reminiscent of much more intelligent books. Mike says, "the dimensions are a little off and the title is not entirely accurate."
The amazing Sam Reeve sent TWO cover designs all the way from the Ukraine. Sam edits a great thing called Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens. She says, "enjoy." I did.
Next the still lovely and still talented Carrie Hunt, author of Endlessly, has submitted her second piece. She says, "I felt compelled to try again, although I believe the vagina and shovel should win."
Lastly, Justin Grimbol with THREE. The first is called "fill it in." The second is called "fill that bitch up!" and the last one is called "johnny depp." I like what he did there.