I'm tired of going to my day job so I'm trying to become a millionaire by Monday by selling at least a billion copies of the ebook of The Beard for 99 cents. I don't think this is at all unrealistic but so far I've only sold 2 copies (thanks to the two people who are helping me realize my dream).
Also, the first installment of Fill the Grand Canyon and Live Forever goes live tomorrow. It will update every Monday and run for ??? weeks. If you read the thing I was writing back in November for NaNoWriMo the first few installments will be hauntingly familiar (though slightly different). I'm always accepting blurbs for it so if you'd like your name attached to this sprawling project, feel free to submit your blurb in the comments section or to email@example.com. Having read it is not necessary. Please put "Blurb" or "Fuck you" or something in the subject so I don't delete it thinking it's spam.
And here's a picture of a cat. THE INTERNET LOVES CATS!!!!!!!!!!!!