Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Grand Canyon Is My Enemy

Until my massive 6000 page travel epic is posted I would like to ask you this: Why are we spending trillions of dollars to fight terror in other countries when the most offensive terrorist is right here in our midst?

That's right. It's the "Grand" Canyon. Every year the "Grand" Canyon is responsible for over 3,000 civilian deaths. It's time to fill it in. We have a lot of trash and a really big hole in the ground. I can't think of a more clear cut case of symbiosis. Not only do people fall in, it reaches into people's homes at night and sucks them in like the massive vortex it is. Knowing the "Grand" Canyon exists, I cannot fear terrorism, the weird nuke wielding guy in North Korea, swine flu or anything else.

Fill it in. Please.


Anonymous said...

Better watch it, Andersen. With the world the way it is these days, I wouldn't be surprised if someday, someone thinks this would be a great idea!

Mike said...

If I show up and throw some trash into the Canyon, do I have to go and pick it up? Or do I just go to jail?

Andy said...

Christina- I hope someone thinks it's a great idea.

Mike- Jail is a small price to pay for martyrdom.

Phil said...

Whenever I read a post like this I always imagine some future civilization digging it up off of some junked hard drive and drawing serious conclusions about the way we thought about our world.

Andy said...

It would be even better if they found that junked hard drive buried in the "Grand" Canyon.