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Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Free Beard

Until Dec. 31, you can download a copy of The Beard from the Atlatl Press store.
Happy!
Fucking!
Xmas!

Since this will probably be my last post until the new year, now would also be a good time to introduce my mailing list. It'll be the lamest mailing list you're on, most assuredly. But I have a lot of things planned for 2010 and the Internet is a big black hole so if you want to guarantee (I'm talking to all 3 of you) that you don't miss any hot book release action, send me an email at andersenprunty(at)yahoo(daht)com.

Monday, November 23, 2009

Lucas Thorn on The Beard

Lucas Thorn has a pretty in depth review of The Beard on his website, Lateral Books. Read it HERE. Thanks, Lucas!

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Conversation with Mykle Hansen on Powell's Books Blog

I recently had some email banter with the Famous Award-Winning Author Mykle Hansen about, oh gosh, all kinds of things. You can read it on Powell's Books Blog HERE! Thanks to Mykle for choosing me to have a conversation with and Kevin Sampsell for being such a monster supporter of small presses and posting it.

And remember: I'll be on BlogTalk Radio's The Funky Werepig tomorrow at 9 P.M. EST. It's hosted by the heavily-armed, former (and future) pole dancer Gregory Hall. We'll talk about all kinds of things and you're both welcome and encouraged to call in. If you have poor time management skills and miss it, you can always download the podcast later.

Friday, November 6, 2009

A 3-Legged Dog Dying of Cancer

My dog died. He had cancer of the face.

I took him outside to toss him up into the tree. I grabbed hold of him and my hands were consumed by his dense fur and then by his skin, until they were inside of him. The dog was filled with witchcraft and sea water. I got it all over my hands. I rinsed them off and decided to use tongs instead.

I could not get the dead dog up into the tree. I was going to tell him that he was a bunch of dead weight but then I remembered he was dead and couldn’t hear me and probably wouldn’t have thought it was funny anyway.

I moved the trampoline over from the rusted out ice cream truck.

Using the tongs, I clasped the dog around the neck and the hind leg and bounced him onto the trampoline. He bounced into the air and his fur rained down and his teeth clacked before landing on the trampoline in a heap.

This wasn’t working either.

I went inside to call my friend Ben. Ben was a director of films. His latest was called Sperm Jug, about two twentysomething guys who embark on a cross-country road trip with their grandmother. The movie ends at the Grand Canyon, the guys dousing the old woman in semen before throwing her over the edge. I think it’s a comedy.

Ben was busy but he gave me some sound advice. He said to try cutting the dog into smaller pieces and throwing them up into the tree individually.

I said: “But Ben, what am I supposed to use to chop up the dog?”

And he said: “Use your fucking dick,” and hung up on me.

I didn’t think that would work so I used a pair of poultry shears.

When I was finished chopping up the dog, I hurled the pieces as far up into the tree as I could. The only thing left was the cancer—dark and glittering. I carried that over to the sewer opening on the curb and dropped it down.

Over the next several days, the dog pieces turned black and oozed from the tree like a rain of cinnamon-flavored tar.

I took the dog inside. He climbed into my nightmares, a black shadow beast, and left steaming piles of worm infested waste everywhere.

Then he was gone and it was time to get a new dog.

So I bought a new dog and he was pretty much just like the old dog except he had an extra leg. So I called Ben and asked him what I should do about it. Ben told me I should take it to a butcher and he would get the dog fixed up.

So I did.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Goodreads, The Beard, and You

The Beard is now available as a free .pdf and ePub download on Goodreads. You can find the tab to the right (on Goodreads, not this website), under the ads and stuff.

Click!

Saturday, October 31, 2009

A Good Review of The Beard

Daniel Clausen reviewed The Beard on Amazon. It's a pretty accurate review. Check it out! And check out some more reviews on Goodreads...

And Happy Halloween!

Friday, October 30, 2009

Fistful of Feet by Jordan Krall

Here's my review of Jordan Krall's latest, Fistful of Feet:

Jordan Krall’s third release and first full-length novel is a must for spaghetti and weird western fans. I’ve never actually read a western novel but I find many of the movies to be plodding and dull to the point that most of the characters and plots are nakedly obvious in the first few minutes, thus beginning an endless barrage of the protaganist asserting his masculinity. Krall brings something new. The framework still draws heavily from the tried and true formula of the western film but is presented with such a love for the outre, weird, and fetishistic, that I found myself wanting to read on just to find out what happened next. And like the best spaghetti westerns, there are gems of existensialism like this: “Maybe there isn’t a Heaven and Hell like they tell you in church. Maybe you end up spending eternity riding on the back of a giant scorpion that keeps going in circles and you can’t tell him the right way to go because your mouth is full of dust.”

Calamaro is the hero in the book. He enters the trippy town of Screwhorse, Nevada, dragging a wooden donkey behind him (an homage to the film Django). Calamaro has a hazy past and an extremely chivalrous disposition. The town of Screwhorse is a wreck. It contains a legendary whorehouse where customers can come and indulge their sickest, strangest fantasies. The mayor is corrupt. The cattle have tentacles instead of udders. The drugstore sells a powerful hallucinogen. These things are just the beginning. Part of the thrill of reading Fistul of Feet is discovering the odd characters and situations and picking up on all the winks and nudges.

Many of the characters lack depth, which is one of my only real criticisms with the book. One of the reasons for this is that Krall introduces A LOT of characters. There are basically good guys and basically bad guys but nearly everyone is weird. This can sometimes make it difficult to keep the characters straight. Some of the chapters are little more than these odd characters gathering together to indulge their fetishes with little to no plot development. However, this book is definitely not intended to be any kind of character study. And while it does have a plot that advances at a decent pace it is a writer creating an homage to various film and pulp fiction genres. In this respect, I think Krall succeeds and creates a very worthwhile and entertaining piece of oddity. After reading the 2008 novella Piecemeal June and the novella collection Squid Pulp Blues, I had been wanting to read a full-length work from Krall and Fistful of Feet left me very satisfied and looking forward to his next book.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Review of District 9

My review of District 9 is now live at The Dream People.

Click HERE to read it.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Like a 3-Legged Dog Dying of Cancer

The prologue to the actual story called, "A 3-Legged Dog Dying of Cancer," (forthcoming) here are some photos from the 2009 BizarroCon in gloomy yet still scenic Portland, Oregon:

Link to photos because there are just too many to post here...

Two announcements, entirely unrelated to BizarroCon, are coming soon. Stay tuned...

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

I Was Thinking That Maybe...

I'm scheduled to be on The Funky Werepig, hosted by seductive Blood Lord Greg Hall, Sunday, November 8 at 9PM EST. Call in or listen from home or listen to the podcast at a time that's more convenient. I will probably mumble, then overenunciate, and use a lot of sentences that trail off without ever actually ending. Sound exciting? Here's the link:

The Funky Werepig

Saturday, October 10, 2009

You Probably Shouldn't Wear That

My novel, The Beard, is now available as a trade paperback.

Here's a description for it:

Seven-year-old David Glum watches as his grandfather is abducted by a legendary herd of elephants. Twenty years later, after failing to sell his novel to a New York publisher, David returns to his parents’ home to focus on growing a beard, a goal he feels sure he can accomplish. Once the beard reaches a respectable girth, uncontrollable things begin happening around him. His mother dies… maybe. His father might really be a man named Gary Wrench. David is sure of only one thing: his family is cursed. It could have something to do with an eternal flame his grandfather stole from a possibly imaginary group of people called the Nefarions. David and Wrench begin a surreal cross-country journey that might have something to do with saving the world. Along the way they pass through a number of absurd towns, meet some disagreeable people, and discover an America that is radically different from the one they thought they knew, a place where nothing can be accepted for what it seems to be. And all the while, the beard grows, gaining strength, leading them toward a distant island that most people think doesn’t exist…

If you're interested in reviewing it for Goodreads or Amazon or any other place, send the publisher an email at atlatlpress@yahoo.com and a link to any of your previous reviews.

Lastly, if you haven't pre-ordered The Sorrow King limited, do so now! This is its last week for purchase. Once the pre-order is taken down, it is no longer available. Although we do have something Amazing (that's right, it's capitalized) planned for the lettered edition. Something that may never have been done before.

Monday, September 21, 2009

He Hit Me In the Head and I Saw God or Something Like It or Maybe It Was Just Blackness

Here are some random pages from the manuscript of The Sorrow King:






And here's the whole manuscript with The Poopsmith, a unicorn impaling a businessman, and a ninja:

Friday, September 18, 2009

Paul's Character Spent Most of the Second Season Crying

My novel, The Beard, is currently available as a Kindle download for a measly 99 cents.

Clicking HERE is your passport to cheap entertainment.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Swallowed by Summer

I realize that, other than The Sorrow King promotions, my blog has been kind of blah lately. It's been a busy summer. My wife and I took a road trip out to the Stokers in Los Angeles, which was great. Then we took the kids to Florida. Also great. Except for the douche who ran his truck into ours (see photos). Went to the Context convention in Columbus last weekend. It was a hundred percent better than last year. Around this traveling, I've been going to my 40-plus hour a week day job and writing after midnight until unconsciousness sets in. So... not a lot of time to write blogs. Here are some reminders and updates:

The Sorrow King is still available at The Horror Mall. It will only be up for pre-order for about another month, and it's limited to only 150 copies, so snag your copy now.

Zerostrata and The Overwhelming Urge have both been nominated for the Wonderland Book Award. One in the novel category and one in the collection category. Many thanks if you read and voted for them. If you haven't read them yet but are interested, you can click the covers to your right and it will provide you with purchase info. It's really like a magic portal into my wallet.

Morning is Dead has been accepted by Cargo Cult and should be released sometime next year.

I've turned two manuscripts into Eraserhead. At least one of them should be released next year. Not sure what the title's going to be.

The Beard might also see print next year. Currently, it's available online for free.

And I'm also talking with another publisher about releasing a story collection. Details to follow.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

Context Stuff

I will be at Context in Columbus next weekend. I will be on a bizarro-themed panel along with D. Harlan Wilson and Nicole Cushing. D. Harlan will be there promoting his latest book, Peckinpah.

I'm also extending my Sorrow King contest until Thursday (the day before Context). You can read an excerpt HERE.

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Back From Vacation

I am now back from my family vacation. On our first full day of vacation, a Toyota Tundra came bearing down on us like a crimson dog from hell. Thankfully, we are all okay. Here are some photos:





Thursday, July 2, 2009

Wonderland Book Award Final Ballot

The Wonderland Book Award final ballot was announced today:

BEST NOVEL

"House of Houses" by Kevin L. Donihe
"Zerostrata" by Andersen Prunty
"My Landlady the Lobotomist" by Eckhard Gerdes
"Help! A Bear is Eating Me!" by Mykle Hansen
"The Egg Man" by Carlton Mellick III


BEST COLLECTION

"Squid Pulp Blues" by Jordan Krall
"Sheep and Wolves" by Jeremy C. Shipp
"The Overwhelming Urge" by Andersen Prunty
"Laredo" by Tony Rauch
"Rampaging Fuckers of Everything on the Crazy Shitting Planet of the Vomit Atmosphere" by Mykle Hansen

And here's a picture of some buffalo!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

The Grand Canyon Is My Enemy

Until my massive 6000 page travel epic is posted I would like to ask you this: Why are we spending trillions of dollars to fight terror in other countries when the most offensive terrorist is right here in our midst?



That's right. It's the "Grand" Canyon. Every year the "Grand" Canyon is responsible for over 3,000 civilian deaths. It's time to fill it in. We have a lot of trash and a really big hole in the ground. I can't think of a more clear cut case of symbiosis. Not only do people fall in, it reaches into people's homes at night and sucks them in like the massive vortex it is. Knowing the "Grand" Canyon exists, I cannot fear terrorism, the weird nuke wielding guy in North Korea, swine flu or anything else.

Fill it in. Please.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

11 States in 4 Days

I'll try and have a write up of our cross-country trek and the Stoker Weekend soon. In the meantime, here's a picture of me riding a jackalope.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Market Adjustment Shipping

Market Adjustment and Other Tales of Avarice begins shipping this week. If you missed your chance to order a copy during the pre-order period, the Horror Mall has a few copies left: CLICK HERE

Saturday, May 30, 2009

Pictures of Market Adjustment and Other Tales of Avarice

Here are some advance photos of Market Adjustment and Other Tales of Avarice. It should be shipping early next week!




Here are some advance photos of Market Adjustment and Other Tales of Avarice. It should be shipping early next week!

Saturday, May 23, 2009

The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction on Amazon

The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction is now available on Amazon. Edited by Jeff Burk, it contains my long story, "The Sex Beast of Scurvy Island," along with stories by Jordan Krall, Jeremy C. Shipp, Michael James Gibbs, Garrett Cook, and many others.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Interview for BizarroCentral.com

I was recently interviewed by Ash Lomen for Bizarro Central. Check it out!

Stoker Weekend 2009

I will be attending the Stoker Weekend in Los Angeles June 12-14. I will be giving a reading on Friday at 1:30 after F. Paul Wilson. That's not intimidating at all.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction

Details regarding the very first issue of The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction are now available HERE. This issue contains my long short story, "The Sex Beast of Scurvy Island," as well as more fiction, reviews, and graphic renderings by Bruce Taylor, Michael James Gibbs, Jordan Krall, Jeremy C. Shipp, Garrett Cook, Jeremy Kemp, Andrew Goldfarb, Jeff Burk, Mykle Hansen, and Bradley Sands.

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Today I Threw My Office Away




I decided I do not need an office. A desk and chair made writing feel like work. Very liberating. I would have set them on fire but someone else probably has a use for them.

Friday, April 24, 2009

Twitter

I kept receiving emails that people were following me on Twitter. This seemed vaguely ominous so I decided to check it out and discovered I had a Twitter account. I have no recollection of actually opening a Twitter account but I do most of computering late at night and sometimes I think I blackout. Anyway, for those interested, I can be found here: www.twitter.com/andersenprunty

Monday, April 20, 2009

Quimby's Photos


Quimby's


D. Harlan Wilson and Garrett Cook


D. Harlan Wilson reading from PECKINPAH


DHW and attendees


Me reading stuff


Eckhard Gerdes and attendees


Eckhard Gerdes reads from ASSVOGEL


Garrett Cook reads from MURDERLAND

**The photos are by my lovely and talented wife, Gretchen.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Market Adjustment Signature Sheets and The Signing Thereof



I was quite surprised when the signature sheets showed up via donkey. Thanks, Donks!



They did not want to be signed so I had to bribe them with cigarettes and beer.



Finally, they settled down and let me sign them.





Then we chilled out and I read them some selections from past Cargo Cult Press titles.




But when it came time to ship them off they again became recalcitrant and I had to smite them with a spatula.

Dragons With Cancer

Dragons with Cancer, an online anthology edited by Bradley Sands and Mike Young, is now up. The idea for the anthology was to find some authors and have them write one realistic story and one not realistic story. My realistic story is called "The Ohio Grass Monster." My not realistic story is called "Toss." Other authors in the anthology include: Blake Butler, Ray Fracalossy, Avital Gad Cykman, Sam Pink, Gina Ranalli, Sean Kilpatrick, Rhys Hughes, Ofelia Hunt, and Kevin L. Donihe.

I'm going to blow off writing tonight so I can read it. If it's not good, then I'm going to call Bradley Sands and sing Lionel Richie's "All Night Long" all night long.

Also, The Beard is now online in its entirety.

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

As Close As I Will Ever Get to Nick Cave

I recently sold a story to an anthology called Up Jumped the Devil, which will be published by P.S. Publishing and comprised of stories based on the songs of Nick Cave. I was honored that editors Douglas Warrick and Kyle Johnson even invited me to submit and I'm extremely happy that my story (based on "From Her to Eternity") was chosen for inclusion.

Here's one of the reasons Nick Cave is awesome:

Monday, April 6, 2009

A Note on the Quimby's Reading

I will be bringing very few copies of my books to the reading. If you were planning on buying a book to have it signed, the best thing to do is to order a copy so you already have one. I think it'll be a lot of fun. See you there!

Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens Now Available as Kindle Downloads

Some older issues of Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens are now available as Kindle downloads. My story, "Reading Manko," is available in Issue Five and has been out of print for nearly two years. This is one of the stories I'll probably be reading in Chicago. This journal always features a collection of great stories that should be of interest to anyone seeking out the absurd, the surreal, and bizarro.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Blogging for Christ

The latest issue of The Dream People is now live. It is a bizarro staple and always contains lively, hilarious, thought provoking fiction, art, and reviews.

My story, "Where I Go To Die," has been translated into French and will see publication in Borderline.

I am thinking about joining a cult. Any recommendations?

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Kindle

My Eraserhead Press titles are now available on Kindle. They can also be read using the Kindle application for iTouch or iPhone. That all feels very technical. Here are the links:

The Overwhelming Urge
Zerostrata
Jack and Mr. Grin

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Reading in Chicago

I will be reading in Chicago, at Quimby's, with fellow authors D. Harlan Wilson, Garrett Cook, and Eckhard Gerdes. If you're in the area, or enjoy driving insanely long distances for a couple hours of unique entertainment, come and check it out.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Cover for The Beard



Here's the cover for my superfree online novel, The Beard. Designed, as always, by the inimitable Brandon Duncan of corporatedemon.com!

The Beard

I decided to start posting it a few days early.

READ THE BEARD HERE

This is a serialized novel but that doesn't mean I'm actually writing it as I'm posting it. It was written a while ago for NaNoWriMo and rewritten and edited. New posts should be added daily. Enjoy!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

I did my third ever reading last night at the Dayton Dirt Collective along with Evolve, Bryan Lewis Saunders, Mannequin Hollowcaust, and John Moloney. It's nice to have a place like this close to home. The turnout was pretty good. The crowd was very kind and receptive. Thanks to all those who came out. Double thanks to all those who picked up one of my books. And even more thanks to Mike, Doug, and Kyle, because it's always good to have friends there to support you. If I had photos, I would put them here:








Wow, weren't those great!

Also, I've added some new links in the "Order my books please" section there on your right. You can now order signed copies directly from me again.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The Great Give Back

2008 was a busy year for me. It was a good year. If you like my writing it was a good year for you too. If you've purchased everything I have available, then you've invested a pretty decent chunk of change. I hope you found it an even trade and my books or stories entertained you. Regardless, I'd still like to give you something else, as a way of saying thank you to those people who have purchased my books and maybe sparking the curiosity of those who have not. Because, in the words of Mark Everett, "Everybody knows, these are rock hard times."

So, on March 19th, I will begin serializing my novel, The Beard. If you like my books, especially Zerostrata and The Overwhelming Urge, I think you'll like it.

Also, I received some extremely great news about one of my horror stories but I don't think anything's official yet, so I'm going to keep it a secret for now.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Sex Beast of Scurvy Island

It's confirmed! "The Sex Beast of Scurvy Island" will appear in the first issue of The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction, due out later this year. Here's a brief description of the story:

When the members of the Grassville Gang are not solving crimes, they are picking up transients and using them to make porno. They are incestuous, perverted, and extremely decadent but they’re always out to find out “whodunnit.” When they become aware of a sex beast on tropical Scurvy Island, they have to travel there and find out why all the young women are getting pregnant and the young men are found mutilated in horrible, terrible ways. Join Brock Rockhard, Carrie Godown, Emma Inside, Zeke Loner, and Sheriff Denny Rogers as they unravel the mystery that threatens to destroy them all!

Also, a reminder that you have just under two weeks to preorder Market Adjustment and Other Tales of Avarice!

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Updates

2009 is already trucking along. I completed my first piece, a very long short story(around 10,000 words) called "The Sex Beast of Scurvy Island." With any luck, it should be appearing in the debut issue of The Magazine of Bizarro Fiction.

If you missed the chat from last week and want to read a transcript of it, you can check it out HERE. Thanks to everyone who took time out to come by and say hi!

Norm Rubenstein wrote an awesome advance review of Market Adjustment and Other Tales of Avarice on his blog. You can read it HERE.

And if you haven't ordered Market Adjustment you only have until February 27 to do so. There will only be as many copies as are preordered, with a cap of 150 signed copies and 26 lettered copies.

It was brought up in the chat if I thought it was ironic that a book with an economic depression as its jumping point was retailing with a starting cost of 50 dollars. Believe me, there is no irony intended. At its core, the book is about corporate greed. In the typical retail world, you pay top dollar for the most inexpensively produced goods purchased from a publicly owned corporation. Meaning, when you pay for that latest hardcover from Barnes and Noble or Amazon, you're paying around 30 dollars for an item that is produced in the thousands or possibly even hundreds of thousands. If you buy Market Adjustment, you will be purchasing it from an independent retailer (Horror Mall), you will get a great-looking, unique book to put on your shelf, the publisher will make money, and the writer will make money. Cargo Cult Press and I are doing everything we can to make this a book one that is truly one of a kind. Each book will contain an individual 6 word story, hand written by me, on a very familiar kind of currency.

All right, it's back to writing for me!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The Night the Moon Made a Sound

My digital chapbook, "The Night the Moon Made a Sound," is now available at Horror Mall for only 1.95:

CLICK TO BUY

Walt Ferryman drinks because of the pain. Walt Ferryman drinks because of the squeaky things. Walt Ferryman drinks because the moon makes terrible sounds. On a night by the sea Janey will show Walt how to escape the moon and all of the other horrors eating him from the inside.

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Bradley Sands is a Dick: The Anthology

Bradley Sands is a Dick is now available. You can download the free .pdf at the Bust Down the Door and Eat All the Chickens website by clicking HERE...

And vote for your favorite story or which author you would like to see become Bradley Sands arch-nemesis by using the polling system to your right.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Bradley Sands is a Dick Cover and Contents




Here's the cover for the anthology, designed by Sam Pink.

Here's the Table of Contents:

Bradley Sands is a Dick: An Acrostic by Jess Gulbranson
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Elizabeth O'Hara
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Jordan Krall
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Carlton Mellick III
Bradley Sands is a Dick by D. Harlan Wilson
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Mykle Hansen
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Kek-w
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Garrett Cook
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Nathaniel Tower
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Tony Rauch
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Michael James Gibbs
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Kristin Fouquet
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Katy Wimhurst
Bradley Sands is a Dick by Cameron Pierce

Saturday, January 3, 2009

The Baffler

If I were a pro wrestler, I would be called The Baffler. Not Andersen "The Baffler" Prunty. Just "The Baffler." I would enter the arena with a different theme song each time. I would enter the ring, doff my beef robe. I would do strange dances and, as a finishing move, I would throw poop into the crowd and then pin myself.